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lyrics

Was it you, who cast the first stone?
Turn your lights off.
You're older than you know
And time, it waits for no-one
You're losing focus

I used to travel. Now I stare at maps. Gazing lustful, longing for the journey back. I'm blesses with plenty. It's a blissful almanac. But I've lost focus, losing sleep and gaining fat.
I used to worry, that I was just playing a part. Talking nonsense and hoping that you'd call it art. I spent a long time, watching all you fall apart. My little world of wishful thinkers. Friends with troubled hearts.
And lately I've been talking less and hating more. Gathering grudges like they used to gather at my door. Jealously isn't something I relish. It’s genuinely sore. I wish I had the guts to say I need you more.

But I see ghosts in my coffee. Chasing mornings I've forgotten. Think I might not get the chance to stop, all the time I've borrowed. A tattooed tragedy, a caffeine calamity. Heart shapes on lamp shades. The curtains draw the light away.
And I don't regret a single day, I loved the paid. It's better baring naked words of war than taking blame. I'm actually amazed I ended up this way. Tiny fingers grasping on to every word I say.
So lately, I've been calling less and that's ok. I'm realizing my time isn't just a gift to give away. I know why you hide in the notes of the songs you play. I know why you're running from your honesty. The hardest face to face is your own. The hardest place to replace is home when you know what you've done.
And did you throw the first stone? Did you ?

Was it you, who cast the first stone?
Turn your lights off.
You're older than you know
And time, it waits for no-one
You're losing focus

And little bits of me start to feel like history. Misty memories of wistfully missing you. Listening in mystery to my life read back to me. Thinking, 'really? I don't think that was ever my reality!' And yeah, I know that people have to go, nothing's set in stone. Friendship isn't guaranteed. You have to nurture what you've grown. But I'm not afraid to say, when it's time to move on. In fact I'm loving every swan song.
So if you hurt me, then I'm long gone and if sorry's not a word that you can muster, that's cool man. Just jog on. Because I turn myself inside out, dealing with this constant doubt, mindful of the part I play, respectfully giving you your space.
Know when it's time to be humble. I mumble nothing under my breath that I wouldn't make public. It’s an ugly circus, pointing fingers like we've got a purpose. Rendering any nuance worthless. Screaming 'Shameful!' from a broken soap box. Civil folk lost in a perpetual moral frost. A digital dust, making mockeries of conversation. You want to talk about metal health? Get off Facebook. Make a statement.
Is this you at your full engagement? How many mates have we lost to our casual vagrance? And what's the cost for the weans that we make to replace us? That's where I'm at with this. I need to get back to this.
Is there a knack to this? Or are we all just singing dancing selfish pricks talking pish? Probably
Being a mum has made me actively angry. Its n a case of how could she, who has and who hasn't. We are callously curating a narcissist's fantasy. Orwell would be amazed at how we feed our own tragedy.
I'm awkward, in need of validation. I'm nervous, in every conversation. I'm weak. But I'm constantly in motion. I'm an imposter voyaging blindly through the ocean.
I'm fierce, when it’s time to set the record. And I'm yours, if you're skilful on the fret board. But I'll say one thing, until we turn the tide.
Get honest with yourself, if you want to step outside.
Did you throw the first stone?

Was it you, who cast the first stone?
Turn your lights off.
You're older than you know
And time, it waits for no-one
You're losing focus

credits

from Present Tense, released November 1, 2020
Track 10: Focus
Written, arranged and performed by Becci Wallace
Mixing and Production: NovaSound Studios

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becci wallace Glasgow, UK

Glasgow Singer Songwriter. Got Gumption. Bit of a Belter. Sucker for the love stuff. Fan of hings.
2021 WE WILL GIG AGAIN
#Presenttense
#Fragmentality
#GTTOS

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